This has been a strange week for me… Walking in stores and seeing Mother’s Day marketing at every turn, Helping with Mother’s Day activities at my church, Framing sweet Mother’s Day gifts at our frame shop. I’ve found myself having to give little pep talks just about every day. “You will be happy on Mother’s Day”, “You will get through the holiday without having a break-down.”, “You will not be bitter” “You will SURVIVE”. Yesterday I was mid pep-talk and out of nowhere I became overwhelmed with feeling alone, forgotten, and honestly down right terrified. Terrified that in just 3 short day I was going to have to face a WHOLE day that revolved around the very thing I so longed to be. A Mother.
I decided it would be a good idea to jump on the ol’ internet and look for some encouragement. ( Note to self: That is almost as bad as going on WebMD when you have a stomach ache)I googled “blogs about dealing with infertility on Mother’s Day”. Rather than finding some amazing story of how an infertile woman thrived on Mother’s Day, I found 4 pages of blog titles that went a little something like this:
- “Coping with Infertility on Mother’s Day”
- “Top 10 ways to avoid Mother’s Day while battling infertility”
- “Why Mother’s Day SUCKS”
- “Why I hated Mother’s Day”
- “Mother’s Day is Not Always a Day of Celebration”
After all the doom and gloom blogs I read, I finally stumbled upon a blog called “Surviving Mother’s Day”. I thought to myself “THIS is gonna be the one. THIS girl is about to tell me how she conquered Mother’s Day and came out victorious.”– WRONG. The whole post talked about how her day was terrible, sad, and down right depressing. But at the end of the day she “survived” the holiday, and that’s all that matters.
That’s when something clicked, and I realized I had been looking at Mother’s Day all wrong. I don’t want to just “survive” Mother’s Day like I’ve been telling myself. When I think of surviving something I think of just barely making it. I realized I want to thrive on Mother’s Day. After all, I am a Mother. Even though we don’t have our sweet Joy baby here with us, the night Ben and I wrote down the goal to “make a baby” I became a Mother. Cheryl Lacey Donovan said it best- “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”. I pray for our Joy daily. I pray that God will use her life to help others. I provide for her, even though she isn’t here to enjoy everything yet. I have a love for her that is so strong, sometimes I think I’m crazy for loving someone so fiercely even though we’ve never met. All of that makes me a Mother.
So no, I won’t survive Mother’s Day ,but instead I will thrive. I will spend my day celebrating all the Moms. Moms struggling with infertility, Moms who have suffered loss, Moms who have had their children naturally, Moms who have adopted or fostered. This Mother’s Day I choose to celebrate, this Mother’s Day I choose to thrive.